May You.....

The birds are chirping
The flowers are blooming
Children and young adults are itching to get out of school
The smell of the ocean, the sun on our faces
Walking outdoors to all of our familiar places.
Mothers are celebrated. And birthdays too.

Diplomas will be in hand.
The month of May is oh so grand.

May you….

May you feel everything and attached to nothing.

May the wind be on your back and the sun shine warm your face.

May you realize it’s okay to not be okay.

May you know when to say yes and how to say no.

May you learn from all of your mistakes.

May you follow your heart and your dreams without any one trying to bust them at the seams.

May you get up every time you fall
Dust off and try again.

May you have faith and understand that there is a plan for you.

May you take the time to heal all of your wounds.

May you live in the present and not in the past. This life we live goes way too fast.

May you find stillness in this world of chaos.

May you smile big even when no one is around.

May you sing and dance and act like a clown.

May you grow and flourish at your own pace, and remember that life is not a race.

May you learn, practice, share and teach. Use your gifts to help those in need.

May you one day find your voice. Always remember you have a choice.
It may take time, and that’s okay. Talk less observe more. Be a sponge. Listen.

May you treat your body like the greatest temple in the universe. If something’s not right, listen and take it a step further.

May you find comfort in your skin and walk with your head high.

May you be Authentically perfect imperfect and not follow the crowd.
May you find joy in the little things like the smile on your kids faces or the smell of fresh flowers and not the material things.

May you take time to be alone. Read. Write. Meditate.

May you be independent and able to stand on your own two feet. Remember, dependency is for the weak.

May you live your life your way without hesitation or guilt.

May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be strong



Take Responsibility for Lighting Your Own Flame

This week I spoke about my visit to the church, mindsets, childhood wounds and being proud.

We always tell our children how proud we are of them for all of their accomplishments and I think it should be said when deserved and be sure we make it about them and not ourselves. We must give the credit when the credit is due with taking ourselves out of the equation.

This Tuesday I came to the studio and found myself dead in my tracks at the front door. I actually looked up at the purple sign, the stickers on the door and as I walked in, I stopped and said to myself “wow”. “This is your studio. You did this.”

I have never had this feeling and I have never given myself any kudos for creating such a great space.

This moment brought so much up for me. Childhood wounds, fear of expressing myself or the fear of what others may think if I verbalized my feelings of achievements. I don’t crave attention or praise. I actually don’t like it. Yes, it feels good but I am humble. Humble and proud.

Be proud of yourself. Give yourself some credit. “You’ve survived heartache and heartbreak. You work your ass off for what lights your soul on fire. Take time to say “great job”. “I am proud of you”. Because guess what? It’s nobody’s responsibility to keep your flame lit but your own”.

This quote came rolling off of my tongue last night. I was hesitant to post it with the fear that it was too rough. But it’s tough love and it’s the truth. It is time to take responsibility for your own life. Why? Taking responsibility of your life moves you from victim to victor. This will change your energy and will raise your vibration.

When people seek constant praise, approval and admiration it is a noticeable sign of Narcissistic personality. This is why it is so important to give praise to others, especially our kids when most deserved. Not when they draw a good picture, come home at curfew or take out the trash.

If you find you are looking for praise for all of your hard work, look in the mirror and say:

“I am proud of all of my efforts”

Take in deeply, beyond the layers of self doubt to the truth of your glowing spirit.

You are amazing.

Take responsibility for lighting your flame and….

BE PROUD.

Yoga for my Mind and Soul on the Other Side of an Altar.

It’s been a LONG time since I went to church for a full mass. Sunday was worth blogging about.

I have been thinking about it for a long time but just couldn’t seem to get up the nerve. There are so many situations that occurred why I have not continued and I will share a few with you now then I will tell you about my experience Sunday.

We grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic School pretty much my entire life, my parents went to Catholic School, my grandmothers both attended church daily and I was married in the Catholic Church.

Guilt! That feeling of guilt that I remember feeling if I did not go to church every Sunday. The guilt was not from my mom, but it was a deeper feeling that I felt from the church/school itself.

Now you all probably know what the last is. Yep. The disgusting database of sexual abuse by priests. I am not here to write about that but when I told Woody I was going to church, he was shocked and said “do me one favor when you go”. “Think of our kids”.

I get it. I agree. I still went. I felt the need to go and trying to keep those horrific thoughts out of my head.

Prayer has always been something I believe in. I pray every night. Contemplative Prayer.

I have faith and I believe.

I do not believe you have to go to church to pray. Since Kelsey was struck by a car this September, I pray more and more. Shit, I have been praying so much I am actually enrolled in a 21 Days of Prayer to Change Your Life Course. It’s not a religious course. These are prayers about The Strength of Vulnerability, Letting Go, Forgiveness, The Power of Prayer and THANK YOU!! A big one for me. Anyway; back to my field trip to church.

I did not go alone. During a few of my classes, I have been talking about going back to church. One of my beautiful students, Mrs. Kate Liggett invited me to go with her. Kate talked about this young, “hip” priest at St. Martha’s. Kate described his physical appearance as “Jesus Christ”. The picture was embedded in my head. She said he was engaging, funny, and people love him. That is all I needed to hear.

Sunday after class I met Kate at Church.

I was nervous. My belly felt nauseous. That guilt of not being there in so many years was settling in.

We sat in the front.

Once the Priest got to the altar, I could not believe my eyes. He is young, hip, wore Dock Martins and had a Mala Bracelet on and holy shit; HE LOOKED LIKE JESUS!! Ha ha.

Not a grey hair in his hippie, long hair.

As mass began, I thought I had remembered the prayers of the catholic church, but that certainly changed. That’s how long it’s been.

Now it was time for The Sermon. I could not believe my ears. This priest started off talking about rock, paper, scissors and was engaging with the parishioners of all ages. People were laughing and participating. I could not stop smiling. I was 100% fully engaged.

Next up musical chairs!! I won’t get into the entire sermon, but the first thing that popped in my head was Wayne Dyer, his daughters book and the dharma and blog I wrote a few weeks ago. This priest reads Wayne Dyer!! We spoke about the same thing!! “Don’t Die with Your Music Still in You”.

As he continued to conclude his sermon; his ending was simple and true. “You never know when the music is going to stop, so live everyday like it’s your last”.

I finally found somewhere to go to listen to a really good dharma. Yoga for my mind and soul while sitting on the other side of an altar.

Thank you Kate!!!

xoxoxo

You have Gifts, Talents and a Purpose. LIVE IT!

I felt the need to write tonight as a "week in review". It will not be poetic, or maybe some of you may think its pointless. There are certain times I feel selfish not sharing. Sharing is caring and when we hold ourselves back from sharing, we are holding back love from ourselves and others.

Last week was hectic. My calendar was full of classes, football, cheer,  a fundraiser, preparing for High School, writing dharmas, posting blogs, playlists, laundry, bills, scheduling, bike repairs, food shopping, cleaning and grey removal!!( I needed to fit some self care in)

Two amazing blogs were posted written by two amazing, brave, perfectly imperfect women. Michelle Amy wrote about her relationship with her yoga mat and Krissy-Jo poured her heart out about her weight loss journey, self-love and acceptance. Continue to write, to heal and share your work. Water it with compassion, kindness and light. It deserves to be seen by everyone. You ladies have a purpose. You ladies have a gift. You ladies have a talent. LIVE IT. SHARE IT.

It was a week of running around. One to cheer and work, and the other to football. I don't want to get into the football experience, because I am still trying to figure out how I am going to be able to sit through a season without cringing and coming pretty close to passing out. A football blog will soon follow. I would like to share with you a great movie I watched Saturday night on Amazon that is for everyone to watch. Parents and kids. ATHLETES!! It's a must. "Peaceful Warrior" staring Nick Nolte. "A warrior does not give up what he loves, he find the love in what he does".

Friday  early evening I decided to meet up with two good friends for a couple of hours. It was great catching up, sharing stories, thinking, creating, laughing and enjoying the moment. WE have a purpose. WE are living it and we WILL SHARE IT.

How do you find people that inspire you? Do your friends inspire you or do they bring you down? When you find people that help you find the best version of yourself, KEEP THEM.

Find people who want to learn, grow, share, raise their vibration and live authentically.. Men and women who want to be grow, transform and have the same interest in personal development.

As you continue to lift yourself up by learning and growing you start to attract the same. Shine bright, SMILE, be full of energy and you will find the same. You will lift them and they will lift you. Stay clear from the ones who bring you down. I have had many the last few years.

We all have the desire to want those around them on the same level they are. )At least good people do).

When a person makes s decision that they are going to improve their life, lift themselves up, those around them (the nay-sayers) instinctively try to pull them down. They will make fun of your efforts, work and success or try to minimize it. They will belittle your abilities to reach new levels. Bottom line? Those peeps are no good. (I am being very kind)

What is the reality? They are bringing you down to lift themselves up. 

Stop accepting the advice of people who you would never want to be like. Take a VERY close look.  It may take you days, months or a year. That's okay.

Begin to slowly remove the trash talkers, the downers, the nay-sayers. Anyone who keeps you from growing, and reaching new heights. Hang on tightly to the ones who help you grow. Be the one who shines bright and has the energy to pull others up. Be that beautiful, smiling, energetic, compassionate soul that encourages others who are actively working to improve their own life.

I will conclude this blog giving a shout out to a group of women who I have witnessed lifting each other up, supporting their dreams, who are looking to improve their circumstances, and are glowing, alive and want to raise their vibration and bring others along for the ride. It has been so refreshing to meet Jenn, Debra, Lauren, Lindsey, Ellen, Alexis and Viki. These amazing women I was blessed to meet a few months ago through yoga. We flowed Thursday night for Debra and her son River. There were tears, smiles, and lots of hugs. These women are a TRIBE. A Perfectly Imperfect, Good Vibe Tribe who lifts each other up personally and professionally.

These amazing women are members of The Bloom Foundation. The Vision of this foundation is to create a world where every mother has access to a new standard of care for maternal mental health and wellness. Viki has been holding Akashic Record Readings at SUKHA and will be holding a breath work circle at SUKHA 9/25. 

Ladies, you have gifts, talents, and a purpose!! Continue to LIVE IT and SHARE IT. 

 

 

 

Bloom Foundation

A Blog about a Boutonniere

I felt the need to write last night. My mind was non-stop. I knew what was on my mind, but not sure how to get it all out.

Last night was the 8th Grade Dance. The "Last Dance".

For months, Patrick was going solo until the day before. Kelsey and I were thrilled by who decided to ask a beautiful and smart young lady, but as a busy mom, last minute running around is not fun. But this time it was. Shoes, a tie, a hair cut and bonding. Late Monday night it dawned on me about FLOWERS!! Crap. Amy to the rescue! The first thought was a Succulent for Patrick. Not sure why, but it was the first thought and it was perfect. Keeping reading on how it all comes together.

My stomach was torn up with emotions that as always, I held back. This is hitting me pretty hard. High School. College. Life. My baby. The man of my house. 

Anyway, the night went like this....

5:30 pm pictures at my house with Patrick, Kelsey, Woody and I. The Perfectly Imperfect Divorced Parents. The tide was up and the train was flying by. The ducks, the birds, the perfect breeze and two sets of the most beautiful blue eyes a brown eyed mother would only have look at her in her dreams. Smiling, making jokes and of course hitting one another on a creaky, old, white-washed gazebo that is just perfect at high tide and mucky and buggy at low tide with the train still cruising by no matter what. I love the train and I love mud. No mud. No lotus. You first have to sit in the mud. In life's terms, the work and suffering that we put in are what yield in return, the reward. (I don't mean a bigger house or money. For me anyway.)

You see, when I first moved to Brielle someone asked me, "Where do you live"? I was confused because our kids both went to Brielle and you have to be a resident. I answered. Her response."Oh, "over there". Slightly taken back by response I asked what exactly does that mean? Response "On the "Other Side of the Tracks". Tracks? What Tracks? The Rail Road Tracks? You see I love the train. My grandmother lived in the Bronx. No air, windows always open, the sounds of horns honking and the train chugging, hissing, screeching and whistling. Music to my ears!! A small home, by the tracks, low tide or hide, it doesn't matter. Less is more. Noise can be calming. Silence and sterile can be sad and lonely.

Still torn about the reasoning for this blog I was starring at the Instagram post I posted on my personal page. swiping and swiping. Looking and thinking about the afternoon, the "photo party in the hills", the breathtaking view, the beautiful young teens, the parents, and my son and his friends. Then I figured it all out. It all came together.

The first photo is Patrick and I on the gazebo with the tracks and the "creek" in the background, the second was Patrick and his date on the River up in "the hills", the third photo is Patrick and his two friends, then Lilly and Patrick, Kesley and Patrick and Patrick solo.

You see the three boys in the photo are all sons of hardworking, very strong, single moms that continue to work their asses off for their children and continue to thrive everyday.

 Next pic....LILLY!!!! Patrick and Lilly have been best friends for years. They are one! Most Athletic and friends until the end. I admire and look up to this young lady so much than I can say or write in any blog or any book. Before I continue I want to say that from the teens I did see, everyone looked beautiful and handsome, but Lilly stole the show!!! Classic white button down, pink khaki pants, a low, wind blown pony, clear, bright, natural ,glowing, freckled skin and a smile that projected her confidence across the river. Come to find out Patrick and Lilly spoke the evening before about the dance. She did not want to go. I am not sure of the entire conversation, but what I do know is, real friends stick together. Through the mud and the rough waters. Friends help each other up when they are feeling down. Friends are confidence boosters and a support system. Lilly, continue to be you. Less is more. Walk with your head high ALWAYS.

Still confused about this blog? So am I. Here's the deal.....

SUCCULENTS.

They are difficult to kill and require little maintenance.

 

They are grown as ornamental plants because of their striking and unusual appearance.

They survive in HARSH climates.

They're reflections and reminders of our existence and consciousness. The colorful leaves brighten up any room. They are living Mandalas. (means circle in Sanskrit)

The circle center of our power is the third chakra. Solar Plexus. It is the center of will power, personal power, confidence, responsibility, reliability, self-esteem and warmth in your personality.

Succulents and Mandalas. Both like art, just like every photo that I described. We overcome situations that gives us a clear opportunity for doing things in ways we have always known we should do. We learn how to make it work by making it work. Just like three single moms, a teen putting it all together within one day  and a natural beauty inside and out, showing up. HER WAY.

Lastly....

No mud. No Lotus.

"Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow".

Be Happy

Be Healthy

Be Strong,

 

The happy, single mom, living on the tracks in the mud. 

Proudly.

 

Be a Succulent

Your Future is Influenced by the Past

Yes, it certainly is...

Do you know that your current feelings, your personality traits and your behavior were shaped by the past events you have been through? Your past is currently affecting your present. You have to be tuned in, willing to identify and think. And that is what I did during this snow fall we had and to be honest, I am blown away. Most of you may fully understand what I have written below, some may not; but you will. Read carefully and you will understand and read the proof that the past has shaped me for where I am right now. Enjoy!!

What the diamond and car business taught me about life and how it has incorporated in my life now.
Two of my most important careers was in the diamond district in 1995 until 2001 and the car business from 2006-2015

The two are so very different with many hidden things in common. Both dealing with metal, high priced items, both luxuries (depending on the car obviously), one is a necessity (depending on the woman). Ha

Did you know that platinum, palladium and rhodium are used for catalyst converters in automobiles as well as in the jewelry business? Just a bit of useless knowledge. But it all makes sense now.

Read carefully on this journey and what it has brought into my life years later.
Amazing.

I started working for a large diamond wholesale company doing billing and data entry, I worked hard. Arriving early and staying late. Driven and interested in learning more. And that I did. I then became assistant account executive, then account executive then Manager of loose diamonds.

Then hard work paid off. I was approached by an Indian company to do merchandising for the jewelry line. No brainer. I accepted.

I traveled to India monthly for quality control on the jewelry I designed before it shipped to NYC and before the inspectors of the large retail chains inspected it.

Going to Bombay was one of the best experiences I have had. I traveled alone. Every month staying for 12 days at a time.
Learning so much about the business, the culture and myself. I met amazing people and learned in my early 20’s how lucky we are here in America and how much we take for granted. I lost 10 pounds every trip, I made friends, I was invited to their homes, to night clubs, and to birthday parties. No judgments. They welcomed me with open arms. They walk a lot. Some who were lucky enough to have automobiles that is; drove far distances without complaining. To see their friends, to the market, to meditate, to the clubs and obviously to work.

Living in NYC during this time, I worked hard. I didn’t socialize too much. Once in a while happy hour with co workers or meeting Maria in the Village. To get our belly button pierced or dinner and a beer. She was my only friend from home living in NYC. She was in the Village and I was on the upper east side. She had her own business and I was working for a big company traveling. We both worked our asses off.

Fast forward to 2006.
Divorced. Needed a career after staying home with the kids. Couldn’t go back to New York with a 4 year old and two year old. Needed a job. And that I found.
Answering leads part time for a Saturn Dealership. I learned, I grew.
Motivated, determined.
I bought a fixer upper in Brielle. It needed lots of work and money. I did it. Alone. Working hard.

“Moving Forward” to Toyota. Internet Manager. Managing people and leads. As the internet grew, so did I. Marketing, traveling, managing. 

A “boys club” and pretty intimidating at first. I wasn’t as mentally strong as I am now, but boy did that change in the car business. You definitely need thick skin, stand your ground and not be intimidated by anyone. 

Why did this snow bring me to write?
Big storm in 96. I walked 40 blocks to work. I had work to do. No excuses, no hoping the office would be closed. I had work to do. Worked that I loved. I walked. In the snow.

In the car business, well; they don’t close. Even the biggest storms. And here’s a news flash for everyone that doesn’t know much about the business. There is no machine or service that cleans off the cars after a snow storm. It’s the employees. Men and women!!! Every car and truck.
I remember driving in a huge storm, knowing I had to be there to help. I did.

Get it??

Putting the pieces together years later. Getting closer.....

People have flaws. Just like diamonds. You need to sort through the ones that are dull and have negative energy.

Move to a big city, even if it’s all by yourself. You never know who’s there and will be by your side in years to come.

Travel. As much as you can, wherever it may be. Go alone at least once.

Welcome new friends. In your home, out for coffee or to a yoga class. Make everyone feel comfortable no matter what skin color, shape, size or gender.

“ Suck it up and press on”. Never let anyone intimidate you.
Work hard even if you don’t want to do something.
Be mentally strong. In any business. You never know if you will travel to another country alone or work in a environment where it’s necessary. Keep going. Keep Moving Forward.

Luxury items are not important. It doesn’t make you happier. Traveling to India made me realize, less is more. They were the happiest people I have ever met. Some with no shoes on their feet, children with no clothes. One room homes. But smiling. Welcoming. No judging. They practice yoga in cotton, loose fitting clothes. “Materials that are tight fitting and compress the body are not right for a practice that is centered around breath”. Many wear Saris. (I have a few)

Work hard.
Walk if needed to get you were you need to be.
Have thick skin.
Be a team player.
Keep moving forward.
Shine.

Choose the people that sparkle with love and light, guide and inspire the ones who need a shine, and remove the “Bad Cut Diamonds”- “a bad diamond cut result has to do with the choices the diamond cutter made. He may have had the bad luck of being saddles with big carbon inclusions that were naturally occurring in all the wrong places in the rough diamond crystal. The cutter took the hand he was dealt and made his choices and they didn’t include what would clear the most light”.

A well cut cut diamond shines and sparkles and shows fire.

Be “DRIVEN”
“Shine Bright”
Be Reliable

Here I am in 2018, putting pieces together from the past that have impacted where I am today. 

Walking in storms, shoveling after the storm, and now opening for classes in a storm.

A hard worker, owner of The "Non-Intimidating" Yoga Studio. A studio that welcomes everyone with open arms and no fancy attire necessary. A few drive long distances; others may complain.

I have removed people from my life that were wearing me down, bringing me down. and speaking down. Working hard with a friend from the past. She lives north now and I live south, but we found our way to meet once again, years later. Teaching yoga.

(maybe tattoo next?)


The impact your past has on your present is so powerful. You need to learn how to connect with it in a positive way. Be open to it. You will be amazed at what comes up.


 

Living In The NOW

You read it, hear it and see it everywhere.

"Live in the present moment".

Blah. Blah. Blah. Rolling eyes I am sure. 

And I have done the same thing until I starting reading" The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

This past week was one for the books. Living in the now. Because as Eckhart says "nothing exists outside the now" How f'in true is that? NOTHING EXISTS OUTSIDE THE NOW.

Currently, I am typing by the fireplace on a cold, Saturday night in January. Nothing else is going on but exactly this. Just typing. My mind is focused on this blog and nothing else. 

Try to grasp this..

"Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now".

"Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.".

Get it? Chances are; probably not. I didn't until this past week really making a effort to be in the now with everything. From cooking dinner (which I did every day), driving kids, attending games, teaching, writing dharmas, running a studio, cleaning the house, doing laundry and making time for my BF; STRESS FREE. Not thinking. Just doing. I did have a list of groceries to buy for the awesome, healthy meals I cooked all week. But I did not stress about when I was going to get to the store. No plan, no stressing. I went in the NOW.

Tolle says "The moment you grasp it, there is a shift in consciousness from mind to Being, from time to presence. Suddenly, everything feels alive, radiates energy, emanates Being".

It sure does. 

Not just me. This week the kids were happy, focused, helpful and fed!! ha ha all week.

Maybe it was the healthy meals we had all week or just maybe it was the energy that I was giving. Whatever it was, The Power of Now worked and I am going to try my best every day to live just like this.

Don't get me wrong; I have focused on living in the present and I think I have done a pretty good job, but it has been challenging. How can it not be with a crazy schedule with kids and yoga and everything else in my life.

"I don't have the time"!!! How many times have we said this to our kids, our husbands, boyfriends, friends, co-workers and ourselves? At least 5-10 times a day.

We must "END THE DELUSION OF TIME".

Here is the key from Tolle: End the delusion of time. Time and mind are inseparable. Remove time from the mind and it stops-unless you choose to use it.

To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates preoccupation with the past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. The compulsion arises because the past gives you an identity and the future holds promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.

Well, my friends I will not go any further. This book is a must read. It is inspiring, spiritual, and pretty intense.

Just wanted to share.

Enjoy your Saturday evening!

xoxoxo