Do You really Care.....

What people think?

There are so many people, all ages that are so worried about what others think of us. The bottom line is it truly does not matter. When we constantly worry and it causes nothing but anxiety and unnecessary stress.

This morning in class I decided to read a great blog about just this topic, take it up a notch and bust out "To Be Real" and just start dancing. Not giving a shit what anyone thought. And guess what? It felt amazing and all of the 21 peeps in the room did the same.

Why do we care about what Jane Smith from the PTO thinks about us? Why? 

It is time to UNFUCK ourselves as Hug Your Chaos has taught me, Let's re-wire our brains with positive thoughts and not negativity.

Start doing the work. Begin by digger deep within yourself because you deserve it and you should start showing the world what a beautiful human you are without trying to impress with stress.

Let's not take this the wrong way. We can and should CARE about others, their feelings and what they think. But if you find yourself becoming anxious and stressed over it, you need to figure out exactly why.

"We have an inside and an outside—an interior landscape and an exterior landscape. Our interior landscape is our subjective experience of our authentic self, while our exterior landscape is a product of our worldview. The two together create a psychosocial dynamic, but that dynamic has only one reference point, leaving us balancing self- and other-perception.

When this delicate balance shifts because we begin seeking approval, or attempting to control outcomes, we become externally focused and can literally lose sight of our essential nature. That essential nature is different from the ego-self—the self-image fed and influenced by what is outside of us. In looking out, rather than within, our sense-of-self and sense-of-place become clouded. The more we attempt to establish these sensibilities through external means, the more clouded our vision becomes and the further we get from our authentic self. Instead of being fully present in our social interactions, our thoughts and behavior become means for eliciting a response, rather than an expression of self-value.

The ego-self is a false self, a façade scripted by the demands of our context as we perceive them. It is our self-image, our social mask, the role we are playing—and it thrives on approval. That need for approval is driven by self-criticism and negative self-talk, which are fear-based. That fear derives from any number of sources, from our original premise concerning fear of rejection to a "less-than" mentality, all of which begs the question:

We’ve been disapproving of ourselves our entire lives without much success. Why not start approving of ourselves and see how that works out?

Self-approval comes out of self-acceptance, which rises out of the recognition that we are, in fact, enough, just as we are. With that recognition, we can free ourselves from fear; we no longer need to look outside for a validation that, on the inside is self-evident. We come into our power, our full humanity, in the recognition that our essential nature is all we need to be fully us."-Psychology Today

Loose the stress of trying to impress. Your body knows you are not being authentic and that is causing stress and can lead to more dis-ease. And that feels so much wore than having someone dislike you.

Did you know that Ulcers are caused by fear? Fear of not being good enough because we can't stomach who we are and we rip our guts out everyday trying to please others. That's a pretty scary thought. Keep that in your mind when you are stressed over what people think of you and constantly trying to please others.

Be Real

Be You

Dance

Sing

Laugh

Smile

xoxoxox

Don't forget to Follow SUKHA on Insta @sukha_south

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A Must Read from Barbie Bohrman

Well, I must say this took me away and made me cry.

Thank you Barbie for this! A must read my friends.

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About a year ago I did a Google search for a yoga studio near me that wouldn’t make me feel like one of those people who play blackjack in Atlantic City for funsies only to get that look from all the other players at the table because, quite frankly, you suck at it and you’re a nuisance to their game. The first thing I noticed in my search results was the phrase, “The Non-Intimidating Yoga Studio,” so I clicked and there I read up on what Sukha and Maribeth was about and their schedule.

It took me another couple of weeks to actually get the nerve to step foot inside the studio, but when I actually did, it was on a random Thursday night and it was Amy’s class. The self-described shy and quiet blonde had a way of teaching for the next hour that drew me in and made me forget everything that was waiting for me outside the door and at home…you know those pesky things: kids, husband, dinner, washing clothes, work day, life in general and all the stress it can bring. 

Then, it took me another couple of weeks to get up the courage to try Maribeth’s class. Which, in hindsight, seems so ridiculous, because if you have taken her class then you know how much of a f*cking great time it is. And that is EXACTLY why I need to take Maribeth’s class every week…and when I don’t, I feel off. The hour always flies by with awesome high energy (in my opinion), balancing my ass off, and f*cking great tunes too. (I f*cking cursed in your honor, Maribeth.)

It was in one of Maribeth’s classes that I remember someone asked me, “Have you taken Brittany’s class yet?” Um, no…no, I have not. But, within a week, I remedied that as well. I will say right now that the very first time that I took Brittany’s class, I literally said out loud during one of her, “so, if you practice this move every day for like the next two years, you too will fly like an eagle and then jump back to crow and then chaturanga and then into some weird ass forearm stand,” moments: “This is some Cirque de Soleil shit that I will never be able to do.” But you know what? In less than a year, I’m able to do a lot of what she teaches. And the things I can’t do yet, because of how Brittany teaches, I believe in my heart that one day, I WILL be able to do them. 

Then someone else in that same first Monday night class of Brittany’s asked if I had taken Tara’s class…nope, not yet! But, the following night, there I was taking her class. Tara’s class is such an amazing time because she stretches and holds poses for long periods of time that before I know it, I’m in pigeon – which use to be my least favorite position but is now my favorite– for about a full minute. Because of Tara’s class, I have found that I am way more flexible and more apt to try different poses that involve my 46 year old legs stretching in a certain way that my 46 year old ass wouldn’t have ever tried.

One day, when Maribeth was out, she had a sub come in and teach her Wednesday night class. That sub was Crystal…and she brings a totally different vibe to what I was expecting that particular Wednesday night. Her voice is soothing and soft, and the way she teaches her class is relaxing as all hell. By the end of that hour, I was almost bummed that it was over. I say “almost” because I as relaxing as it was, I was sore in places I hadn’t been for some time for the next few days, but in a really, really good way. 

And then Maribeth, and everyone else that I came to love seeing every day of my life at this point, said that I must try Maria’s class… and so I did. So here I am trying to make every Saturday morning class Maria teaches, to not only improve my physical practice of yoga, but more importantly, the spiritual side of my practice…the part that I’m still a newbie and hopefully, under Maria’s tutelage, will evolve into something else, something more. 

So you see, there is something truly for everyone at Sukha South. The whole non-intimidating part of the name…it’s no bullshit and that’s what makes it feel like a home away from home for me now. If you haven’t been able to tell yet, it has changed my life because there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not on my mat waiting for one of these amazing ladies to guide me through my practice. 

On a side note – a couple of times that I’ve taken Brittany’s class, she left “Buddha” personalized notes for each person. She strategically placed them right in front of you once you were done with class and opened your eyes. I swear that I don’t know how she knew or if it was just a coincidence, but the two times/notes she has left me came at a time that I so needed to “hear” them. To this day, easily over 6 months later, I have both of her Buddha sticky notes saved in my wallet and occasionally take them out to re-read them to myself because that’s how much they mean to me. Because sometimes when life is bringing you down or something is in your way, you need to know that “You’re capable as f*ck” or simply that “You’re strong as f*ck” from someone else. 

Xo

Barbie J

Your Future is Influenced by the Past

Yes, it certainly is...

Do you know that your current feelings, your personality traits and your behavior were shaped by the past events you have been through? Your past is currently affecting your present. You have to be tuned in, willing to identify and think. And that is what I did during this snow fall we had and to be honest, I am blown away. Most of you may fully understand what I have written below, some may not; but you will. Read carefully and you will understand and read the proof that the past has shaped me for where I am right now. Enjoy!!

What the diamond and car business taught me about life and how it has incorporated in my life now.
Two of my most important careers was in the diamond district in 1995 until 2001 and the car business from 2006-2015

The two are so very different with many hidden things in common. Both dealing with metal, high priced items, both luxuries (depending on the car obviously), one is a necessity (depending on the woman). Ha

Did you know that platinum, palladium and rhodium are used for catalyst converters in automobiles as well as in the jewelry business? Just a bit of useless knowledge. But it all makes sense now.

Read carefully on this journey and what it has brought into my life years later.
Amazing.

I started working for a large diamond wholesale company doing billing and data entry, I worked hard. Arriving early and staying late. Driven and interested in learning more. And that I did. I then became assistant account executive, then account executive then Manager of loose diamonds.

Then hard work paid off. I was approached by an Indian company to do merchandising for the jewelry line. No brainer. I accepted.

I traveled to India monthly for quality control on the jewelry I designed before it shipped to NYC and before the inspectors of the large retail chains inspected it.

Going to Bombay was one of the best experiences I have had. I traveled alone. Every month staying for 12 days at a time.
Learning so much about the business, the culture and myself. I met amazing people and learned in my early 20’s how lucky we are here in America and how much we take for granted. I lost 10 pounds every trip, I made friends, I was invited to their homes, to night clubs, and to birthday parties. No judgments. They welcomed me with open arms. They walk a lot. Some who were lucky enough to have automobiles that is; drove far distances without complaining. To see their friends, to the market, to meditate, to the clubs and obviously to work.

Living in NYC during this time, I worked hard. I didn’t socialize too much. Once in a while happy hour with co workers or meeting Maria in the Village. To get our belly button pierced or dinner and a beer. She was my only friend from home living in NYC. She was in the Village and I was on the upper east side. She had her own business and I was working for a big company traveling. We both worked our asses off.

Fast forward to 2006.
Divorced. Needed a career after staying home with the kids. Couldn’t go back to New York with a 4 year old and two year old. Needed a job. And that I found.
Answering leads part time for a Saturn Dealership. I learned, I grew.
Motivated, determined.
I bought a fixer upper in Brielle. It needed lots of work and money. I did it. Alone. Working hard.

“Moving Forward” to Toyota. Internet Manager. Managing people and leads. As the internet grew, so did I. Marketing, traveling, managing. 

A “boys club” and pretty intimidating at first. I wasn’t as mentally strong as I am now, but boy did that change in the car business. You definitely need thick skin, stand your ground and not be intimidated by anyone. 

Why did this snow bring me to write?
Big storm in 96. I walked 40 blocks to work. I had work to do. No excuses, no hoping the office would be closed. I had work to do. Worked that I loved. I walked. In the snow.

In the car business, well; they don’t close. Even the biggest storms. And here’s a news flash for everyone that doesn’t know much about the business. There is no machine or service that cleans off the cars after a snow storm. It’s the employees. Men and women!!! Every car and truck.
I remember driving in a huge storm, knowing I had to be there to help. I did.

Get it??

Putting the pieces together years later. Getting closer.....

People have flaws. Just like diamonds. You need to sort through the ones that are dull and have negative energy.

Move to a big city, even if it’s all by yourself. You never know who’s there and will be by your side in years to come.

Travel. As much as you can, wherever it may be. Go alone at least once.

Welcome new friends. In your home, out for coffee or to a yoga class. Make everyone feel comfortable no matter what skin color, shape, size or gender.

“ Suck it up and press on”. Never let anyone intimidate you.
Work hard even if you don’t want to do something.
Be mentally strong. In any business. You never know if you will travel to another country alone or work in a environment where it’s necessary. Keep going. Keep Moving Forward.

Luxury items are not important. It doesn’t make you happier. Traveling to India made me realize, less is more. They were the happiest people I have ever met. Some with no shoes on their feet, children with no clothes. One room homes. But smiling. Welcoming. No judging. They practice yoga in cotton, loose fitting clothes. “Materials that are tight fitting and compress the body are not right for a practice that is centered around breath”. Many wear Saris. (I have a few)

Work hard.
Walk if needed to get you were you need to be.
Have thick skin.
Be a team player.
Keep moving forward.
Shine.

Choose the people that sparkle with love and light, guide and inspire the ones who need a shine, and remove the “Bad Cut Diamonds”- “a bad diamond cut result has to do with the choices the diamond cutter made. He may have had the bad luck of being saddles with big carbon inclusions that were naturally occurring in all the wrong places in the rough diamond crystal. The cutter took the hand he was dealt and made his choices and they didn’t include what would clear the most light”.

A well cut cut diamond shines and sparkles and shows fire.

Be “DRIVEN”
“Shine Bright”
Be Reliable

Here I am in 2018, putting pieces together from the past that have impacted where I am today. 

Walking in storms, shoveling after the storm, and now opening for classes in a storm.

A hard worker, owner of The "Non-Intimidating" Yoga Studio. A studio that welcomes everyone with open arms and no fancy attire necessary. A few drive long distances; others may complain.

I have removed people from my life that were wearing me down, bringing me down. and speaking down. Working hard with a friend from the past. She lives north now and I live south, but we found our way to meet once again, years later. Teaching yoga.

(maybe tattoo next?)


The impact your past has on your present is so powerful. You need to learn how to connect with it in a positive way. Be open to it. You will be amazed at what comes up.


 

And The Winner Is.......

Most of you see it all on social media.

Ambassador of this, Ambassador of that. Mostly big brands. I love the idea. 

"Ambassador- a person who acts as a representative or promoter of a specified activity."

I have decided on "SUKHA Supporter".

"Supporter"-a person who is actively interested in and wishes success". Well-wisher. Advocate. Helper. Enthusiast.  Strong/enthusiastic/active. On the mat and off the mat. 

Sunday I announced that I will be choosing one person a month to be the "SUKHA on the mat/off the mat Supporter".

This is not a competition in any way. You do not have to purchase SUKHA Wear. It is not a requirement that you promote SUKHA. (you all do that anyway)

You just have to be you. It is recognition. 

The Sukha Supporter is a yogi at SUKHA that practices yoga 3-4 times a week in ALL teachers classes,looking to learn and grow, practices yoga off the mat, someone who shares the Sukha philosophy, making new Sukha friends feel at home and shows community love and support. A male or female that has shown they are practicing yoga for more than the "workout" and for doing the "work/in". 

I was going to wait, but why?

So, my friends the first Sukha Supporter is Tara Schroeder!!!

Tara is a Brick resident but started with SUKHA in Manasquan. Stopping there on her way home from work to make the 4:15 pm classes, driving from Brick to Squan on the weekends, attending the Pub Crawl not really knowing anyone, attending workshops and has taken over 120 classes in Brick alone and that does not include workshops. Tara is ALWAYS making new clients feel at home and doing so much for the community. Tara is a Speech-Language Pathologist and works with children with disabilities. Tara is responsible for introducing me to Toms River Field of Dreams and always thinking of ways to help in the community.

Tara, my friend, you are a yogi through and through. It is a pleasure having you at SUKHA. I look forward to many more years to come. On the Mat and Off. Thank you for your continued love, support, loyalty and friendship.

Stay tuned for more on Tara in the next few weeks.

 

 

Two Years, Two Months Community Love

SUKHA Squan is coming on the two year anniversary and SUKHA South just hit the two month mark in July.

New faces walking through the door everyday. First time yogis, some that have not practiced in years and some that have been practicing but could not find a place where they were comfortable.

Men and Women. All ages. All sizes.

I asked a few of the SUKHA men and women to write a short testimonial on how yoga has changed their lives. And I am going to share their responses with you.

"I started yoga after a serious bike injury to increase flexibility by stretching, but also enjoyed an increase in core strength which has helped my tennis and golf game. There have been many additional benefits from every instructor such as stress relief, open mindfulness and a sense of being more connected to oneself and others."-RF

"SUKHA is my first yoga experience. EVER. Not only do I feel better physically; a stronger core, great stretching and better balance, but the class and the people make me feel better mentally. The music is great and the workout is perfect. I leave the class every morning with a great outlook on the day and living"-KS

"Yoga has helped me so much with strengthening my core, increasing my flexibility and my balance has gotten much better. I can feel the difference with other workouts and playing soccer"-GF

"Yoga at SUKHA is no joke. It is a full-body workout unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Attending class is a great way to start each day and makes me feel strong and ready for anything"-RF

"Yoga is for women. That is the common perception. I have now been taking classes at SUKHA with Maribeth and her amazing teachers for two years and I have never felt better. I had suffered with chronic back pain issues for years and mostly because of yoga those issues no longer exist. My flexibility and y strength have improved greatly.  Maribeth makes everyone feel so comfortable and relaxed with her non-intimidating approach to teaching and there is definitely an incredible sense of friendship and family the minute you walk into her non-intimidating studio. I have encouraged many friends to try yoga with Maribeth and SUKHA and those who have also have become hooked. Yoga is not only for women. A true life changer!"-RB


"Yoga started because of the gym. Folks kept telling me I should try it. Of course it was
not until the class moved to a little space a mile or so from the gym that I started to go.

But at first it was about the exercise, the sweat-- -getting back into shape. And yoga is
great for that. I had already been going to the gym for almost two years. Lost 30 pounds. I lost
20 more pounds in the first 4 months of yoga.

But it wasn’t just the sweat. I was reminded of other parts of life long forgotten. Mindful
relaxation, mediation, faith that there is some joyous purpose to life, and we are all going to get there together. A focus on what you can do for yourself to enhance life, yours and those around you. A return to spirituality as a balance to the workday world of task after task after task. And because there are so many of us now on this journey a shared sense of purpose,
shared history, and shared yearnings has developed into a sense of family."-KR

"Sukha makes me feel like I've hit the reset button..physically, emotionally and mentally. And it's always good for a ton of laughs"-SB

"Sukha makes me feel like I am part of a non-judgmental community of acceptance and growth, both spiritually and physically, and to hear cool ass tunes"-CH

"Yoga makes me feel more connected to myself and to my yoga friends at SUKHA"-MD

"Sukha makes me feel happy and accomplished"-MGS

"Sukha makes me feel comfortable and strong"-MS

 

FAMILY.

FRIENDSHIPS.

FUN.

All of these three words above make me smile. My favorite "F" words. Minus one that I will only say in class! ha ha

Most of these men and women have been coming to SUKHA since day 1! Not one day a week, Not two, but three to four days a week. I am so proud of everyone of them.

Is it only about the physical practice. There is so much more. 

These men and women connected. Here. On their yoga mats for the first time.

It's amazing how contagious building a community can be. The Brick location is following down the same path. Not many knew each other. Some were so scared to even walk in. A few trembling. 

I greet them at the front desk, we chat, and connect. Then they open the curtain to make their way into the studio. Not knowing what to expect.

Well; as you all know, I hear and see everything. What is it that I hear behind the curtain?

"Hi, I am "xyz" and you are? Welcome. "Don't be nervous". "You will do great". The chatter. The welcome wagon! It is truly amazing. 

We have built a warm, loving community.

I am looking to share this with everyone.

Clients, local business owners, kids, seniors and families.

"Community over Competition". Not just in yoga. Everywhere.

What does this mean?

Community over Competition reminds us that our community is our family. They help you through tough times, give advice, have coffee or a beer and support you every step of the way. 

I think adults in our society need to hit the reset button and reprogram their thoughts and mentality. Maybe they should try yoga! ha ha. Oh shit, but wait.......

As kids, we received trophies for sports. We picked teams. Some were picked last. How heart breaking is that? These feelings carry with us forever. We were raised to compete and it has been embedded in us.

Let's hit ctrl alt del

Creating a community feels so good. The energy, the lightness, the smiles, the compassion. We are all connected and we need to continue to  embrace, love and support each other.

 

xoxoxoxo

MB

 

 

Snapchat's Aprils Fool's Joke and Sukha's April Fool's Joke

We all know that Instagram pretty much copied Snapchat.

This April Fool's Day, Snapchat decide to play a joke on Instagram by rolling our a filter that looks almost exactly like Instagram's story interface.

This April Fool's Day fell on a Saturday. 

My dharma for Saturday was done by Thursday night totally not thinking that April Fool's Day was Saturday. But that's okay because my Sunday 8:00 am crew is the best crew to play a joke on; and indeed that is what I did.

It didn't take me too long and the playlist was a breeze.

As always, they started piling in at 7:35, coffee, mingling, laughing, and buying new SUKHA tanks.

Then 7:59 came around and I started to shake and get a pit in my stomach as if this joke was not a joke.

I had them all lay on their mats. Most did. The ones who always sit up, did not. I made them. Telling them I had something very important to tell them.

I heard "Oh no, this doesn't sound good".

It isn't I said. In fact it is bad news.

I received a call from Rec saying that the pub crawl was not professional and risky and they decided to close down Sukha North!!

Well; mostly all sprung up, Martha looked like she was going to kick someone's ASS. I tried so hard not to laugh. I kept a very straight face. And asked them to please all relax and let's practice.

And it was a very, very, Belated April Fool's Day at SUKHA. Well done, I must admit. Funny as shit too!!!

For those reading this that may wish it was true, sorry folks. It was a joke. Not going anywhere, but location number 2 in Brick!!!!

Love you all!

Thank you for making it amazing to love what I do everyday!!