Yoga for my Mind and Soul on the Other Side of an Altar.

It’s been a LONG time since I went to church for a full mass. Sunday was worth blogging about.

I have been thinking about it for a long time but just couldn’t seem to get up the nerve. There are so many situations that occurred why I have not continued and I will share a few with you now then I will tell you about my experience Sunday.

We grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic School pretty much my entire life, my parents went to Catholic School, my grandmothers both attended church daily and I was married in the Catholic Church.

Guilt! That feeling of guilt that I remember feeling if I did not go to church every Sunday. The guilt was not from my mom, but it was a deeper feeling that I felt from the church/school itself.

Now you all probably know what the last is. Yep. The disgusting database of sexual abuse by priests. I am not here to write about that but when I told Woody I was going to church, he was shocked and said “do me one favor when you go”. “Think of our kids”.

I get it. I agree. I still went. I felt the need to go and trying to keep those horrific thoughts out of my head.

Prayer has always been something I believe in. I pray every night. Contemplative Prayer.

I have faith and I believe.

I do not believe you have to go to church to pray. Since Kelsey was struck by a car this September, I pray more and more. Shit, I have been praying so much I am actually enrolled in a 21 Days of Prayer to Change Your Life Course. It’s not a religious course. These are prayers about The Strength of Vulnerability, Letting Go, Forgiveness, The Power of Prayer and THANK YOU!! A big one for me. Anyway; back to my field trip to church.

I did not go alone. During a few of my classes, I have been talking about going back to church. One of my beautiful students, Mrs. Kate Liggett invited me to go with her. Kate talked about this young, “hip” priest at St. Martha’s. Kate described his physical appearance as “Jesus Christ”. The picture was embedded in my head. She said he was engaging, funny, and people love him. That is all I needed to hear.

Sunday after class I met Kate at Church.

I was nervous. My belly felt nauseous. That guilt of not being there in so many years was settling in.

We sat in the front.

Once the Priest got to the altar, I could not believe my eyes. He is young, hip, wore Dock Martins and had a Mala Bracelet on and holy shit; HE LOOKED LIKE JESUS!! Ha ha.

Not a grey hair in his hippie, long hair.

As mass began, I thought I had remembered the prayers of the catholic church, but that certainly changed. That’s how long it’s been.

Now it was time for The Sermon. I could not believe my ears. This priest started off talking about rock, paper, scissors and was engaging with the parishioners of all ages. People were laughing and participating. I could not stop smiling. I was 100% fully engaged.

Next up musical chairs!! I won’t get into the entire sermon, but the first thing that popped in my head was Wayne Dyer, his daughters book and the dharma and blog I wrote a few weeks ago. This priest reads Wayne Dyer!! We spoke about the same thing!! “Don’t Die with Your Music Still in You”.

As he continued to conclude his sermon; his ending was simple and true. “You never know when the music is going to stop, so live everyday like it’s your last”.

I finally found somewhere to go to listen to a really good dharma. Yoga for my mind and soul while sitting on the other side of an altar.

Thank you Kate!!!

xoxoxo

Everything Is Going To Be Fine

"Everything Will Be Fine"!

Something I find myself saying;  "Everything Will Be Fine" to my kids, my SUKHA family and to myself during hard times. At times, it may feel like they are just words when you don't know what else to say. I truly mean it. With hope, faith, a positive mind set and a shit load of love; everything is going to be fine.

At the present time it does not sound so helpful when your friends and family may be feeling like everything is falling apart. Health issues, divorce, death, tragedies, and finance problems. 

Whatever it may be, it may not be okay now, but that's okay. It's okay not be fine.

We all go through tough times. Some suck more than others.

But you will get through it. We are strong and powerful. Have faith and trust. You are not alone. There is so much love around you to support you during the bad times. Stay strong and positive my friends. You got this!!

I found this AMAZING blog written by Heidi Priebe. It was perfect to read during class. After reading to myself last night and then out loud over the phone, it struck me. But not as hard as it did reading to all of you today. I found myself choking up and then the tear. (or maybe more than one). ha

Please read carefully out loud, to yourself and to someone else. 

Everything Is Going to Be Fine

You’re one year and seven weeks old and you cannot take two steps without falling over, even though everyone else around you can. You can’t speak without your words coming out in starts and stops. You can’t make sense of where you are or who’s around you, even though you sense that in some way, that it’s supposed to make sense. You often fall asleep in one place and wake up somewhere different altogether. But you’re okay. You’re going to grow up. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re eight years old and you are starting to discover there’s a hierarchy, even on the playground. You are not at the top. You read a lot of books, you hand in your homework on time, you do everything your parents say to do but it doesn’t always translate ideally. You’re starting to scrutinize yourself. The way your body looks, the way your voice sounds, the way you cannot run as fast or make others laugh as loudly as the other kids around you. You don’t know how to grow up right. But you’re eight years old. There’s a world outside the playground, you just can’t see it yet. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re seventeen. You’ve been accepted to the college you wanted, but your boyfriend got in on the other coast. You don’t want to be a high school cliche. You don’t want to have to move on alone. You’re starting to realize, for the first time in your life, that you’ll have to make choices that are not win-win. You’re going to have your heart in two places at once. Life isn’t simple or linear or easy to predict the way it used to be. Your heart is breaking and everyone is buzzing excitedly about your future. You’re not ready for your future. But it’s going to come, and it’s going to be better than you could have imagined. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re twenty-two, and at your college graduation. You have a job prospect lined up and a sky-high list of ambitions and more privilege than a lot of your classmates. But you’re not sure you can live up to your big, huge plans and dreams. You’re not sure you can make it outside of this city that made you into the person you are, with the friends who have taken up the biggest, hugest place inside your heart for so many years. You’re not sure you even want to make it. You’re not sure that there’s anything better out there. You don’t know yet that there is, it’s just a very different ‘better.’ Just a ‘better’ that is sweet in all the ways your current ‘better’ is sour. Just a ‘better’ that might not be better at all, it’s just happiness in a different form. A form you can’t imagine yet, because you are twenty-two and scared. But you won’t be forever. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re twenty-six and falling behind in every way. You’re more alone than you knew you could be, you’re more lost than you ever thought possible. Your heart has invested in too many people who left. Your plans have been built around too many empires that fell. You’re twenty-six and sitting at your dining room table with a steaming cup of coffee and the silence you’ve forgotten how to fill. You don’t know if things get to come together for you. You don’t know if you’re going to become one of those people who can ever say they got their lives in order. You’re worried that you’re going to fade away into insignificance, but you won’t. Because you’re twenty-six and you’ve forgotten that being found first means getting lost. Which means you’re exactly where you ought to be. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re thirty-four and you’re supposed to know more by now. You’re supposed to understand how to make a relationship last, how to structure and provide for other people, how to keep yourself in check when all of the shit hits the fan, but you don’t know. You’re thirty-four years old and there are days where you still want to curl into your mother’s lap and hear her tell you it’ll all be alright. Except soon you’re going to be someone else’s mother, soon you’re going to be the one someone comes to for hope and for comfort, and you’re not sure that you’re up to the task. You’re not sure you will ever know enough. Except you will. Because you already know everything you need to. You just can’t see that yet. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re fifty and you’re not sure how the years have gone so fast. You’re worried that you’re stuck now – on the singular path that you’ve chosen, on the life that you built with young hands. You’re fifty and you’ve watched too many of the people you love already leave you, clutched too tightly to what you have left. You’re not sure if the future belongs to you at all anymore, or if it’s only left for others. For the children taking their first steps, for the eight-year-olds sizing themselves up on the playground. You’ve forgotten that you were once each of those people. That so many times felt like the end, just like now. But it wasn’t the end. It never is. Everything is going to be fine.

You’re eight-five and you cannot take two steps without falling over, even though everyone else around you can. You can’t speak without your words coming out in starts and stops. You can’t make sense of where you are or who’s around you, even though you sense that in some way, it’s supposed to make sense. You’re eight-five and on some days you are twenty-two years old, with your college diploma in your fingers and your hopes and dreams aligned. You’re eight-five and some days you are thirty-six years old watching your child take his first unsuspecting steps. You are eighty-five years old and you’re not entirely sure, most days, if your life is ending or beginning, but a part of you suspects that it’s both. A part of you knows that there has never been a true ending before this, and maybe there are no true endings after. You finally know that you are every version of yourself you’ve ever been. That there will still be versions you can’t see yet. Everything is going to be fine

By: Heidi Priebe

 

 

Leap of Faith

This mornings dharma talk and play list hit me in so many ways. I laughed, the eyes teared up and I felt proud.

I am so grateful to all of my students/friends for practicing yoga with me and really understanding what it is all about.

Thank you Bob for writing this beautiful dharma and sharing it with all of us and putting a smile on our faces bright and early on a Sunday morning!

"Leap of Faith"

When I was “volunteered” to do a dharma my initial thought went to topics like BELIEF and  FAITH…maybe because yoga for me was a leap of faith. I thought of it like tofu or going vegan or becoming a democrat… surely good for you but a little too “out there” for me. Besides, it wasn’t a REAL workout like running or the spinning classes I do at the gym.

So I didn’t go looking for yoga. Instead it came after me! On days between runs or spin classes I would go to the club and use the equipment or workout in the fitness room when there was no class there.   Well one day MariBeth and her yogi’s took over my training room! I almost walked into the room because the lights were off but waited until the class was done so I could get a workout. She was still in the room and twisted my arm to try it, seriously twisted my arm!

So Chris and I gave it a try and the initial experience was clumsy and awkward…. but Maribeth made that seem okay (THANKS!).  Her guidance and encouragement kept me involved and it became a challenge to me as I saw small improvements and started to get it.  

So what I have come to believe is this:

I believe yoga is really good for me physically and spiritually

I believe yoga is a real workout

I believe yoga and I will be together for a long time

I believe MariBeth is a great instructor because she is true and authentic

I believe I will do a good headstand

I’m not ready to go vegan but maybe Hillary? Heck, maybe even Bernie!

So the music for this dharma kept bringing me to the FUN side of yoga. So I hope you enjoy CRASH,   HURT SO GOOD,  FREE FALLING and COLLIDE and that it reminds you that it is JUST YOGA!

The first song is my thank you to Maribeth for bringing this experience to my life.    

 

You’ve Got It-Bruce Springsteen

Adventure of a Lifetime-Coldplay

Crash into Me-Dave Matthews

Hurts So Good-John Mellencamp

Give a Little Bit-The Goo Goo Dolls

Free Fallin’-Tom Petty

Breakdown-Jack Johnson

Land of Hope and Dreams-Bruce Springsteen

Collide-Howie Day

7 Years-Lukas Graham

Gonna Fly Now-Bill Conti

The Scientist-Coldplay

Best Day of My Life-American Authors

 

Dharma Talk from a Dad to his little girl on her birthday.

Knowing for months my daughters 14th birthday would fall on a Thursday and that my dharma would be about daughters. Wednesday I decided to ask Woody (my x husband) to write the dharma for my class. Because if it wasn't for him; Kelsey would not be here. She is my love, my life, my soul, my energy and my best friend. So, here it is.......A dharma talk from a dad to his little girl on her birthday. 

Yesterday I spoke to my daughter Kelsey and she asked me if I was excited about tomorrow?  I asked her what she meant and she said we get to celebrate the best day of my life. She was making a joke of course but she was right.  When I first laid eyes on her I started to cry, she was my baby girl and she was perfect.  Kelsey was instantly a Daddy's girl and I was wrapped around her finger.  I could have not asked for a more incredible daughter, she is still perfect in my eyes.  She is 14 today and it is bittersweet.  I would love for her to still be my baby girl but I am so proud of the young woman she is becoming.   The joy I get from listening to her music in the car, going shopping or just getting ice cream is immeasurable.  We talk about pretty much everything, she is wise beyond her years and constantly makes me laugh.   

As a father to a daughter our instinct is that we have to protect them from the world (mostly boys).   Kelsey has taught me how strong a young girl can be when she is confident in herself and knows her self worth.  I know I can not protect her from the World and this still keeps me up some nights but I am confident Kelsey will handle everything that life throws at her.   

 

Kelsey,

I am not sure if you will read this but if you do remember I will always love you no matter what.  Also remember:

  • Use the gifts you have been given.

  • Treat your body with respect.

  • Spend your life with someone who loves you like I do.