Who's Your Witness? Your Person?

I wanted to thank everyone who reached out personally to check in. Thank you, thank you for being so kind.

Close to 500 people read my last blog!!! I was shocked when I saw the website analytics.

I will be posting within the next few weeks and then I will be off the grid for two weeks as I will be having surgery mid-month. All of the details and info will be written and posted post-op so stay tuned.

Kindness, kind-heartedness, warm-heartedness, tender-heartednes , goodwill, affectionateness, affection, warmth, gentleness, tenderness, concern, care.

Seems like a no brainer to be kind. But why is it so hard for so many not be kind?

Kindness is actually very simple. A simple idea with a significant impact.

I am not going to sit here and preach that we all must be kind 24/7. That would almost impossible for anybody. We all have our moments that’s for sure, I have had plenty past and present. Lately I have really thinking about what has made me be unkind in certain times in my life. What were the triggers? What set me off to be unkind to a parent, sibling, child, friend, co-worker, boyfriend, etc…?

After meditating, writing, and reading on this, its pretty simple what the answer is. PAIN.

When people suffer they become unkind, distant or maybe even mean. How do we fix this when there is no normal life that is free of pain? Pain, heartache or heartbreak helps us grow so therefore we need it, but how can we be kind during all of the tough times we have in our life?

It”s the answer we have all probably known all along.

You need a person (or multiple) but what I have found is way less is WAY more. The person or people that have known you for years, the people that listen, the ones who truly care and understand you and where you are coming from. The authentic people that have your back and not turn theirs.

Author Alice Miller calls that person a “witness”.

“In order to transform pain into kindness and love you need a witness.

One human being to witness your pain.

One human being to feel your sadness.

One human being to see you. To feel your aloneness and brokenness.

Once you have that one witness, you get to feel your own pain and know that there is hope.

In order to transform pain into kindness and love you need”

Even your “person” or “witness” will never feel exactly what you feel, but just to know that you have that person is comforting and healing.

After thinking about how amazing I have felt during moments of kindness; I realized, it’s true. Kindness is a piece to the puzzle. Wether its raising money for a good cause, holding the door for someone, asking someone if they are okay, letting someone go ahead of you in the grocery store or most importantly; being that PERSON/WITNESS, whatever or to whomever it may be; very quickly you will see how your moods and spirits are lifted. Not only yours but those around you.

Keep in mind, being kind is not about doing something to get something. It’s about doing something for the sake of making someone feel seen. Making someone feel good.

Think about it…..

How did you feel when someone did something kind for you? Even if it was for a brief moment, how happy did it make you feel? Did you think about the pain? The suffering?

When we are kind we feel good. It’s not bullshit. It’s a fact. Kindness releases feel-good hormones, boosts your serotonin which is the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of satisfactions and well-being.

Being kind eases anxious feelings, is good for your heart, reduces stress, can prevent illness, and will help you live a longer, happier life. (just like yoga)

Hold the door.

Say hello to a stranger.

Reach out to a friend or family member. Be someone’s person/witness.

Donate to a charity.

Leave extra as a tip or pick up someone's bill (only if you can afford too)

Or just lift your head up from your device and say hi to stranger or maybe the person sitting next to you.

Be Kind.

“The less you open your heart to others, the more yours suffers” Deepak Chopra

be kind

Do You really Care.....

What people think?

There are so many people, all ages that are so worried about what others think of us. The bottom line is it truly does not matter. When we constantly worry and it causes nothing but anxiety and unnecessary stress.

This morning in class I decided to read a great blog about just this topic, take it up a notch and bust out "To Be Real" and just start dancing. Not giving a shit what anyone thought. And guess what? It felt amazing and all of the 21 peeps in the room did the same.

Why do we care about what Jane Smith from the PTO thinks about us? Why? 

It is time to UNFUCK ourselves as Hug Your Chaos has taught me, Let's re-wire our brains with positive thoughts and not negativity.

Start doing the work. Begin by digger deep within yourself because you deserve it and you should start showing the world what a beautiful human you are without trying to impress with stress.

Let's not take this the wrong way. We can and should CARE about others, their feelings and what they think. But if you find yourself becoming anxious and stressed over it, you need to figure out exactly why.

"We have an inside and an outside—an interior landscape and an exterior landscape. Our interior landscape is our subjective experience of our authentic self, while our exterior landscape is a product of our worldview. The two together create a psychosocial dynamic, but that dynamic has only one reference point, leaving us balancing self- and other-perception.

When this delicate balance shifts because we begin seeking approval, or attempting to control outcomes, we become externally focused and can literally lose sight of our essential nature. That essential nature is different from the ego-self—the self-image fed and influenced by what is outside of us. In looking out, rather than within, our sense-of-self and sense-of-place become clouded. The more we attempt to establish these sensibilities through external means, the more clouded our vision becomes and the further we get from our authentic self. Instead of being fully present in our social interactions, our thoughts and behavior become means for eliciting a response, rather than an expression of self-value.

The ego-self is a false self, a façade scripted by the demands of our context as we perceive them. It is our self-image, our social mask, the role we are playing—and it thrives on approval. That need for approval is driven by self-criticism and negative self-talk, which are fear-based. That fear derives from any number of sources, from our original premise concerning fear of rejection to a "less-than" mentality, all of which begs the question:

We’ve been disapproving of ourselves our entire lives without much success. Why not start approving of ourselves and see how that works out?

Self-approval comes out of self-acceptance, which rises out of the recognition that we are, in fact, enough, just as we are. With that recognition, we can free ourselves from fear; we no longer need to look outside for a validation that, on the inside is self-evident. We come into our power, our full humanity, in the recognition that our essential nature is all we need to be fully us."-Psychology Today

Loose the stress of trying to impress. Your body knows you are not being authentic and that is causing stress and can lead to more dis-ease. And that feels so much wore than having someone dislike you.

Did you know that Ulcers are caused by fear? Fear of not being good enough because we can't stomach who we are and we rip our guts out everyday trying to please others. That's a pretty scary thought. Keep that in your mind when you are stressed over what people think of you and constantly trying to please others.

Be Real

Be You

Dance

Sing

Laugh

Smile

xoxoxox

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Akashic Records Readings at SUKHA

As you all know, I share what I learn and experience. This afternoon I had the amazing experience of Akashic Record Reading with Viki Quirk. I have been thinking about blogging the entire reading, but I have decided to share in class or give all of you the opportunity to experience this reading for yourselves. Truly amazing, eye opening and healing.

Imagine a place where you can obtain answers to any questions you have about yourself.  The answers are given to you by Ascended Masters and Teachers as well as other guides who have been charged with not only storing and protecting your sacred information, but also with assisting you in remembering your divine light and path.  This place is known as your Akashic Record and it is the energy of your soul. 

Do you need clarity, direction or more healing in your life? The loving,healing energy of the Akashic Records is a profound tool for self-exploration and empowerment.

In this 30 minute reading, Viki will ask your permission to enter your Akashic Record and act as the vessel for the conversation between you and your Record Keepers.  You will be able to explore a question or two you have about past lives, life purpose, or receive general information. 

Viki Quirk is a contemporary healer who believes the power to heal lies within the individual. Her work in this field started with Pilates back in 2009 when she earned her certification to teach through Pilates Academy International and Ellie Herman Studios in Brooklyn, NY.  Over the years, she has increased her knowledge and understanding of the physical body through continuing education studies on safe spine practices with Rebecca Leone and pre/postnatal with Debbie Goodman.

The more she learned about the body and worked closely with clients, she saw that the emotional, energetic, and spiritual experiences all play a role in wellness.  In an effort to provide comprehensive guidance and support to those she works with, Viki pursued additional certifications such as Reiki in the tradition of Dr. Usui Shiki Ryoho, learning to access the Akashic Records for healing with Vanessa Codorniu, and Breathwork first with Erin Teldford and then master teacher David Elliott.

Viki moved her practice to Monmouth County in 2016 where she currently lives with her husband, young son, and their dog.   

These readings will be held on the following dates in three 30 minute time slots.

Tuesday, August 7th

7:00 pm

7:30 pm

8:00 pm

Friday, August 17

11:00 am

11:30 am

12:00 pm

$30 for 30 minute private reading. Readings will be held at SUKHA individually.