Your Future is Influenced by the Past

Yes, it certainly is...

Do you know that your current feelings, your personality traits and your behavior were shaped by the past events you have been through? Your past is currently affecting your present. You have to be tuned in, willing to identify and think. And that is what I did during this snow fall we had and to be honest, I am blown away. Most of you may fully understand what I have written below, some may not; but you will. Read carefully and you will understand and read the proof that the past has shaped me for where I am right now. Enjoy!!

What the diamond and car business taught me about life and how it has incorporated in my life now.
Two of my most important careers was in the diamond district in 1995 until 2001 and the car business from 2006-2015

The two are so very different with many hidden things in common. Both dealing with metal, high priced items, both luxuries (depending on the car obviously), one is a necessity (depending on the woman). Ha

Did you know that platinum, palladium and rhodium are used for catalyst converters in automobiles as well as in the jewelry business? Just a bit of useless knowledge. But it all makes sense now.

Read carefully on this journey and what it has brought into my life years later.
Amazing.

I started working for a large diamond wholesale company doing billing and data entry, I worked hard. Arriving early and staying late. Driven and interested in learning more. And that I did. I then became assistant account executive, then account executive then Manager of loose diamonds.

Then hard work paid off. I was approached by an Indian company to do merchandising for the jewelry line. No brainer. I accepted.

I traveled to India monthly for quality control on the jewelry I designed before it shipped to NYC and before the inspectors of the large retail chains inspected it.

Going to Bombay was one of the best experiences I have had. I traveled alone. Every month staying for 12 days at a time.
Learning so much about the business, the culture and myself. I met amazing people and learned in my early 20’s how lucky we are here in America and how much we take for granted. I lost 10 pounds every trip, I made friends, I was invited to their homes, to night clubs, and to birthday parties. No judgments. They welcomed me with open arms. They walk a lot. Some who were lucky enough to have automobiles that is; drove far distances without complaining. To see their friends, to the market, to meditate, to the clubs and obviously to work.

Living in NYC during this time, I worked hard. I didn’t socialize too much. Once in a while happy hour with co workers or meeting Maria in the Village. To get our belly button pierced or dinner and a beer. She was my only friend from home living in NYC. She was in the Village and I was on the upper east side. She had her own business and I was working for a big company traveling. We both worked our asses off.

Fast forward to 2006.
Divorced. Needed a career after staying home with the kids. Couldn’t go back to New York with a 4 year old and two year old. Needed a job. And that I found.
Answering leads part time for a Saturn Dealership. I learned, I grew.
Motivated, determined.
I bought a fixer upper in Brielle. It needed lots of work and money. I did it. Alone. Working hard.

“Moving Forward” to Toyota. Internet Manager. Managing people and leads. As the internet grew, so did I. Marketing, traveling, managing. 

A “boys club” and pretty intimidating at first. I wasn’t as mentally strong as I am now, but boy did that change in the car business. You definitely need thick skin, stand your ground and not be intimidated by anyone. 

Why did this snow bring me to write?
Big storm in 96. I walked 40 blocks to work. I had work to do. No excuses, no hoping the office would be closed. I had work to do. Worked that I loved. I walked. In the snow.

In the car business, well; they don’t close. Even the biggest storms. And here’s a news flash for everyone that doesn’t know much about the business. There is no machine or service that cleans off the cars after a snow storm. It’s the employees. Men and women!!! Every car and truck.
I remember driving in a huge storm, knowing I had to be there to help. I did.

Get it??

Putting the pieces together years later. Getting closer.....

People have flaws. Just like diamonds. You need to sort through the ones that are dull and have negative energy.

Move to a big city, even if it’s all by yourself. You never know who’s there and will be by your side in years to come.

Travel. As much as you can, wherever it may be. Go alone at least once.

Welcome new friends. In your home, out for coffee or to a yoga class. Make everyone feel comfortable no matter what skin color, shape, size or gender.

“ Suck it up and press on”. Never let anyone intimidate you.
Work hard even if you don’t want to do something.
Be mentally strong. In any business. You never know if you will travel to another country alone or work in a environment where it’s necessary. Keep going. Keep Moving Forward.

Luxury items are not important. It doesn’t make you happier. Traveling to India made me realize, less is more. They were the happiest people I have ever met. Some with no shoes on their feet, children with no clothes. One room homes. But smiling. Welcoming. No judging. They practice yoga in cotton, loose fitting clothes. “Materials that are tight fitting and compress the body are not right for a practice that is centered around breath”. Many wear Saris. (I have a few)

Work hard.
Walk if needed to get you were you need to be.
Have thick skin.
Be a team player.
Keep moving forward.
Shine.

Choose the people that sparkle with love and light, guide and inspire the ones who need a shine, and remove the “Bad Cut Diamonds”- “a bad diamond cut result has to do with the choices the diamond cutter made. He may have had the bad luck of being saddles with big carbon inclusions that were naturally occurring in all the wrong places in the rough diamond crystal. The cutter took the hand he was dealt and made his choices and they didn’t include what would clear the most light”.

A well cut cut diamond shines and sparkles and shows fire.

Be “DRIVEN”
“Shine Bright”
Be Reliable

Here I am in 2018, putting pieces together from the past that have impacted where I am today. 

Walking in storms, shoveling after the storm, and now opening for classes in a storm.

A hard worker, owner of The "Non-Intimidating" Yoga Studio. A studio that welcomes everyone with open arms and no fancy attire necessary. A few drive long distances; others may complain.

I have removed people from my life that were wearing me down, bringing me down. and speaking down. Working hard with a friend from the past. She lives north now and I live south, but we found our way to meet once again, years later. Teaching yoga.

(maybe tattoo next?)


The impact your past has on your present is so powerful. You need to learn how to connect with it in a positive way. Be open to it. You will be amazed at what comes up.


 

Haters Gonna Hate

Many use it as a hashtag for many different reasons. I have used it more than once for sure.

Hate is really a strong word. I always tell my kids never use hate. Use "dislike strongly". But that hashtag is not too popular and unfortunately hate is used way too much in this world.

I found this blog in Entrepreneur Magazine and wanted to share with all of you. You don't have to have a business. This is for everyone. Whatever your role in life. Student, athlete, brain, beauty queen, mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather. boyfriend, girlfriend, business owner. friend. Negative, unhappy people will always find a reason to demonstrate in their behavior the "H" word. Don't let it get to you.

Be proud of you!!! Always!! 

The "haters" are making judgement out of jealousy or their own negativity! LET IT GO!

Upon reaching a certain level of success, there will almost certainly be haters that enter your life. These are people that either fundamentally do not believe in your values or, more likely, are jealous of your accomplishments.

It is easy to let these people get you down. Understandably, we don't like when others are mean to us or don't like us. The reality, though, is that having these haters around us is almost inevitable, especially true upon achieving success. Therefore, the options are to either let them affect you or to take advantage of the situation.

John Rampton

Entrepreneur VIP / Entrepreneur and Connector

Here are 10 ways that you can take advantage by using your haters as fuel for your success:

1. Understand that it means you are doing things right.

The emergence of haters is a signal that you have achieved a certain level of success. If you have not accomplished anything, then, almost certainly, nobody would be paying enough attention to give you criticism.

When there are people hating on you and what you do, then it is a sign that you are on the path toward success. Use this sign as a validation that you have been doing the right types of things.

2. Learn from their attitudes to be more accepting of others.

Seeing the ways in which people negatively treat you can teach you how to be more accepting of others. Instead of mimicking your haters' actions toward other people, do the opposite. You will develop an empathy for what it is like to receive flack.

Then, when you see others in similar boats as you, you can provide support and motivation. This will both help others and allow you to develop meaningful relationships with successful people.

3. Use their criticism as a way to evaluate yourself.

Although a lot of criticism can be rooted in jealousy, there are times when certain criticisms are well-founded. You should not take the hate that you get to heart, but you should listen to what others have to say. At certain times, it can help you become a better person.

If you are working on a project that is environmentally harmful, for example, and you had not realized it, then listening to your haters can give you an important perspective to consider.

Others' opinions can help you find ways in which you are coming across poorly. Recognizing those ways will empower you to be better.

4. Be more humble.

You can use criticism as a lesson to take the high road. There will be situations when you can either fight back with others or you can do the right thing. You might be much more accomplished than those that are giving you a hard time.

That being said, you should be humble in your responses. There is no need to brag or try to validate yourself further. Instead, trust your own instinct and respond in a humble, respectful manner.

5. Use them to learn how to deal with conflict.

Dealing with your haters is also a great opportunity to better handle conflict. You could be put in challenging situations, with someone calling you out in a big way on social media or at an event.

Use these experiences as opportunities to learn to navigate conflict. Sometimes you can just take the high road but, in other situations, the response needs to be more nuanced.

6. Learn to control your anger.

Managing anger is also a great challenge in life. People might say things to you that invoke high levels of anger for a variety of reasons. Instead of lashing back, learn to respond calmly.

Take advantage of all the negative words and actions you might be victim to. If you can stay composed in these high-pressure or anxiety-provoking situations, then you will learn to control your anger. Doing so will pay off countless times throughout life.

7. Use them to learn how to ignore negative influences.

There are going to be many negative people in your life. Worrying about their opinions of you will only make you worse off. We cannot get everyone to like us. Therefore, haters serve as a great group to learn this lesson.

We feel even less of an urge to get them to like us compared to people we might know better. Learning to accept that not everyone is going to like you will enable you to focus your attention on the things that matter more. These include being present, challenges at hand, and working to become a better person.

8. Utilize them to become more independent thinking.

You might receive deeply personal insults that attack your beliefs or character. That said, you do not have to conform to anybody else's beliefs. Instead, you should be proud of what makes you unique.

Learning to love yourself for who you are will enable you to live a more independent-thinking life. That will lead to greater levels of satisfaction and accomplishment.

9. Allow them to motivate you.

Others might tell you that your self employed business will never succeed or that you will never accomplish your goals. You can use these negative responses as motivation to succeed. You do not need to prove anything to anybody.

That said, if it will motivate you to know that upon your achievements, you will be able to quiet the haters, then take advantage of that, and use it as motivation to work harder.

10. Appreciate your victories.

Haters can also be a great way to better appreciate your victories. Accomplishing something after many people told you that you would not be able to is a great feeling.

You should be proud of what you are able to achieve throughout your life. Your haters can serve as a reminder to appreciate these victories and be grateful for all the good you are fortunate to have.