"I'll Be Happy When.....

This beautiful young woman inspired ME the moment she walked in the door. I will not get into the story simply because it is all here. A blog from Krissy Jo.  You may want to grab a tissue. Thank you Krissy for sharing your inspirational story with us. Continue to do the "work-in" and inspiring others. 

Have you ever thought that losing weight will make you happy? "I'll be happy when I lose that weight that's been holding me back" or " I'll be happy when I can fit into my jeans from high school." There's always a " I'll be happy WHEN." I am guilty of this behavior, at my heaviest, I believed I needed to lose eight to be happy, to be worthy, to be loved & everything else would fall into place. After losing 120 lbs, I can tell you, happiness did not follow.
 During my weight loss journey ( which I never consider to be over), I've had an amazing support system. People who wanted to see me succeed, people who would come to me for advice & confide in me with their own struggles. People would tell me how amazing I looked, how proud of me they were. The compliments were overwhelming, on social media, in person, It didn't matter what form the compliments were coming.....until they stopped. I thought to myself, "Do I not look great anymore" ....."Are they no longer proud of me?" There were no ill intentions, people just got used to the new me. However, I was measuring my worth in the amounts of likes I got on Instagram and the amount of compliments I received. I absolutely loved the positive attention. I never received such praise for anything I accomplished in my entire life. Even though I was receiving these compliments, I hated myself. I hated that I had loose skin, I hated that I had stretch marks, and saggy boobs. I couldn't look myself in the mirror without grabbing my stomach and wondering what I would look like if I could just cut it off. Yes, to others I may have looked happier and healthier on the outside, but on the inside, not so healthy!
Self love is so underestimated. I realize I've lived my whole life trying to please others and gain the respect and love of others, but ended up with all these ill feelings toward myself. I wanted to give the people what they wanted to see! they obviously were all about me losing weight...so maybe I should lose more and they will stay pleased? ....Or I could learn to love myself, be proud of my accomplishments and how far I have come and accept that I may never be "perfect" & that it's okay to be my own kind of beautiful.
On my journey, I have met some incredible women who I can thank for helping me find some self confidence & see my potential. My instructors and friends at "D Fitness" have empowered me to see that I am sexy, I am fierce & I got THIS! This is the motto of the "vixen workout" which is a dance fitness class created to make women feel sexy, from busy moms to business professionals, we sometimes lose that part of ourselves getting so wrapped up in the day to day hustle. My passion for dance fitness started with Zumba. I gained a love for Zumba because the music was so good, I could drown out the negative thoughts for an hour. I mean, most of the songs were Spanish so I couldn't tell if they were happy or sad songs, I would just be smiling and dancing. As long as I could forget my problems, I was okay. ignorance is bliss right?

 Then one day, shit changed. I was feeling lost. Dealing with a bad breakup, a job I hated and my family moving across country....I needed a positive change. I swear fate led me through the doors at Sukha where Maribeth and the Buddha Statue drew me in. I was not going to stay. I was just going to grab a schedule, probably stare at it and tell myself I could never do this yoga thing. Fortunately, Maribeth wouldn't let me leave. she was like " There's nothing to be fucking scared of!" ...right there, I knew she was real... she wasn't one of those yoga snobs I was so intimidated by. From that day I was changed. The thoughts that I was drowning out in Zumba class, were the thoughts that I was forced to face in yoga. She said, "Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit" damn that felt good! I've learned to face my fears, my anxieties and my negative thinking. These things do not have to control me. I've learned in a short period of time that I am capable of things that I never thought possible. Most importantly, that changing our thoughts in turn, changes our lives. I've come to peace with the fact that I may never be a size 2 with a flat stomach and perfect skin. . But that's Okay! I'm still worthy of love, from myself and others. That relationship that didn't workout, It's not because I have cellulite, It's because the universe has something more for me! That job that was making me miserable, well another door opened and I took the leap. That feeling of being lost, sometimes we have to get lost in order to find ourselves. We are given endless opportunities in life, but we are only given one body. You can consider yourself a work in progress, but love yourself every step of the way, not WHEN, but NOW...ALWAYS & FOREVER.

 "The healer you have been looking for is your own courage to know and love yourself completely" - Yung Pueblo
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