This is strange. Writing a letter to myself on my birthday, but I had to keep it going since Woody wrote a letter to Kelsey and I wrote a letter to Patrick. What the hell. Why not? I am sure there are some of you rolling your eyes, continuing to think they same way you do when people post yoga selfies. It's okay. I am going to write and continue to post pictures anyway. Do me a favor; don't read and don't look at the pictures. Or you can make it much easier. Unfriend or simply keep scrolling, unless of course it is a picture of my amazing kids or a photo of food or the sunrise. That seems to be the trend. Now that I have that out of the way.
45!!! CRAZY!! I am not sure where the time is going but it is definitely so freakish to say that I am 45, a mother of two, divorced and a yoga instructor. My life has been a winding road. But every road has been different and a distinct view on each one. Many colorful and exciting, some dark and gloomy. But every bump, detour, and fork lead me to where I am today. The happiest and healthiest I have been.
I have raised two extraordinary children, with Woody of course. Even thou we are not married, we co-parent pretty damn good. Because of our healthy relationship our children are happy, well mannered, independent, strong, funny, and not spoiled.
Kelsey has grown to be so special. She has an old soul, a quirky sense of humor, eyes of blue like the waters of Turks, extremely smart, caring, honest, wise and stunningly beautiful. She says she is "athletically challenged"!! (I may have to agree). So with that being said; now I can speak about the man of my house. Patrick.
Patrick is lovable, handsome, funny, athletic, a pain in the ass at times, very protective of me and a huge help around the house. He is "my guy". My one and only. Sorry gentlemen; no chance in hell of ANYONE coming in between me and my son (kids). In October, I will be divorced ten years. Still single?? YEP. Why? The number one reason is my children. They come first. I can't and will not go down that road until they are in college and out of the house. Am I wasting prime years of my life? Maybe. But I have to many issues with bringing a man into my kids lives. The ones that know me, are fully aware as to why. And I highly recommend all you newly divorced peeps out there; TAKE YOUR TIME. No need to rush. Heal. Focus on your kids. The relationships can wait. At least two years. Give them that much. No need to introduce them so fast. Children fear abandonment. Don't let them see the revolving door. It;s not worth it. Take time to figure out who you are and what you want. Be your own person. Find YOUR own hobbies and interests. And PLEASE; DO NOT SETTLE. They need you and the other parent now more than ever.
It is so strange to say I have a teenage girl that is going to be going to High School in September. I remember my freshman year at SJV. Things were so different. I was drinking in the woods, sneaking out of my house, and doing other things my daughter would never think about doing at this moment! I always wonder why things are so different? Is it parenting? I am not sure. Whatever the case, We are doing a good job raising these children, I am proud and optimistic that they will both be amazing adults.
I have made plenty of mistakes the 45 years on this wonderful planet. Regrets??? Hmmmmm. Yes. But they were all lessons. Ending friendships. Some had to go, others; maybe not. But I believe that people are meant to stay in your life for a reason. Some may appear again; and there is a reason for it. Sometimes I wish for some to come back more than others. The laughs, the memories, the tears. Those; I miss. The negativity, the put downs, the jealousy, the mean remarks; not so much.
Our lives are a story book. My book is thick. From childhood issues, high school fun, college excitement, new jobs, travel, marriage, children, deaths, divorce, single life as a grown adult, career changes, and storms. The next chapter will be a good one.
"The World is a book and those who do not travel read only one page"-St. Agustine
London, Paris, Ireland, California, Vegas, Colorado, Turks, St. Marteen, Caymen, Cruise Ships, the entire East Coast and India! I know am I missing more but traveling is a love of mine. I miss it. But one day I will get out there and see more before I die. Life is about living. Not sitting.
I have done so much and I have wonderful memories of my life so far. Some bad, most good.
Last week in class, I had my students bring a picture of themselves from a teenager or young adult. They wrote letters to themselves sharing the knowledge and wisdom that they know now and share it with their younger self.
I am going to share my note with all of you now.
Smile. You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different.
Don;t take things so personally.
Boys pick on you because they like you. Kids can be mean. Just ignore it or come back with a wise ass remark.
Do not have expectations.
Like the nice boys. Not the mean ones.
Speak your truth
Don't let your heart freeze. It takes too long to thaw.
Be a leader, not a follower
Love with all of your heart. Say it. Mean it.
Study. Read. Knowledge is power
Don't cry in the workplace.
Don't let anyone bully you, or raise their hand to you. ANYONE
Don;t let anyone take advantage of you. Friends, boyfriends, co-workers
Be kind always
DO NOT SETTLE. For anyone. Any job. ANYTHING.
I can go on and on. These are just a few. Try this exercise yourself. It can be emotional yet very helpful.
As of today, I am 16, 437 days old. 540 months. 2,348 weeks on this earth. Thank you to my mom and dad for giving me this amazing life. I wish my dad was around the way Woody is around for my kids. Everything happens for a reason. I am who I am because of the road I was on to take me here today. Where will the next stop be? Will the road be bumpy? Hills to climb? I am sure of it, but I am looking forward to the journey and the beautiful view.
I am hell bent on being here for another 540 months, but who knows what will happen. I don't have a crystal ball and I don;t want to know. If I am not around for as long as I like, I hope that my kids learned from me all of the things above and much more.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you to my family and friends.
My SUKHA Family. You all have changed my life and continue to do so every day.
Here's to another 45!