I am what I am. This is me

As I was listening to my favorite childhood songs, and looking at one of my hash tags on Instagram #iamwhatiam. I asked myself; who am I? And I started to type. Today, I shared this list to my yoga class. It was difficult to read in front of 20 people at 6:00 am. As my voice started to crack and my lips quivering, half way down the long list I felt a huge lift off of my shoulders. 

Try it. Just start typing. Who are you?

Who am I?

I am a 44 year old female. I am a cancer

mother

sister

daughter

step daughter

aunt

friend

yoga instructor

employee

business owner

homeowner

head of household

x wife

daddyless daughter

I am happy

motivated

self driven

independent

smart

fun

practical

friendly

funny

easy going

relaxed

cool headed

thoughtful

trustworthy

honest. brutally at times

I can be...

stubborn

cold hearted at times

stuck in my ways

mean (if needed)

I was..

an unhappy child who became and grew into a happy adult

I wish I had my father around as a child

I wish he showed up on my wedding day

I wish I spoke to him after he bailed and didn’t hold a grudge.

I wish I spoke to him before he died to tell him I was sorry and that I love him

I was a bad student, who became a self motivator

I ran away from home for 6 months

I was bullied, made fun of and picked on as a kid and became a confident, beautiful woman

I was a smoker and a party animal. I never did drugs.

I went to school in Boston for Fashion Merchandising

I lived in NYC

I had a 10 year career in the jewelry business as Account Executive. And traveled to India monthly

I was a stay at home mom

I was a wife and will probably never be one again

I was a Director of Business Development and Marketing Director for large auto groups

I am divorced

I am addicted to life. Never addicted to drugs or alcohol. Came close after the storm.

I am addicted to self care, yoga, and any other new experiences that will come my way.

I love sunrises and sunsets and taking pictures

I love my children and watching them grow

I love having talks with my 13 year old daughter

I love watching my son play sports

I love teaching them about life. Real life.

I love the relationship I have with my x husband and the decision I made to leave him. He is one of my best friends.

I love my house

I love to walk, ride, paddle, run and hike

I love nature

I love to travel

I love dive bars

I love pasta

I love making people feel good about themselves

I love to motivate people

I love ripped jeans, a flannel and a baseball hat

I love the smell of coconut

I love music. All music

I saw Motley Crue 9 times

My favorite movie is the Wizard of Oz

I love quotes

I love getting up at the crack of dawn

I love getting up at the crack of dawn to teach yoga to an amazing group of people who I call my friends

My house is not spotless. It's lived in

My jeep is the same

I don’t care for liars. Lie to me; and I always find out. (call it part witch or good intuition)

I don’t care for gossip

I don't like politics

I don’t like fake people

I don’t kiss ass

I don't like anchovies or Indian food

I don’t stress

I don’t worry anymore. It gets you nowhere

I take one day at a time

I don’t have a crystal ball to see the future, nor do I want one

I have done things I regret. But they are lessons learned. And it is all part of growing up.

I am what I am. “Don't judge me until you know me, Don’t underestimate me until you have challenged me and do not talk about me until you have talked to me.

This is me.

I am what am I.